Space Jam 15
by zoop bop
Summary: The Looney Tunes need saving again, but this time around Michael, along with old and new friends, is going to need to be a little more clever this time.


"Breaking News that will stun basketball fans across the nation," the sports news correspondent announces, "LeBron James suffers a career ending spinal cord injury". Michael turns off the TV. "That's a damn shame" he mumbles to Bill. "Guess they don't make 'em like they used to," Bill jokes. Michael gives him a long glare to let him know that it isn't a joking matter.

Michael steps out of his front door only to be inquired by the press. "Mr. Jordan, how do you feel about LeBron James' recent injury?" each reporter asks using roughly the same words. Michael is silent while Bill answers the reporters' questions. "Mr. Murray, with all due respect, we don't want to hear what you think;" one reporter says sternly, "we want to hear from Michael Jordan". Michael answers one reporter "It's a tragic end to a great career. We were all looking forward to what else he could bring to the world of basketball". In that moment, Michael looks back at his own career, remembering his classic highlights. Headlines that read "Air Jordan!" and "His Airness" flash through his mind. He would love to relive his glory days, recalling the airy texture of his Bulls jersey and the roaring crowds. "Michael. Hey, Michael?" a muffled voice asks. Michael follows the voice to Bill's face. "You good?" Bill asks. "Yeah, let's get out of here".

A tower in the shape of a once honorable business tycoon looms over Moron Mountain. It is occupied still by Swackhammer, who is vengeful after his defeat by Michael and the Looney Tunes. He has aged, as shown by his lumpy green skin that sags and his yellowing teeth & nails. His voice croaks and he uses a cane made from the bones of his former minions. He is swamped by angry shareholders and other executives because of Moron Mountain's dwindling profits and fall in overall appeal to customers. "I promise you I'll find a way to get back on top" he tells them. "Yeah right," retorts one executive, "How are you going to do that? Get the Looney Tunes? Ha!" Swackhammer shows his ugly grin "That's exactly what I'm going to do".

Looney Tune Land is as sunny, two dimensional, and cartoon-looking as usual. Typical looney antics ensue by Bugs Bunny and the usual suspects. Since the events of the game with Michael against Swackhammer and the Monstars, the Looney Tunes have neglected their basketball talents, rather focusing on their antics. Suddenly, a rusted, old rocket sputters into Looney Tune Land and lands with a high-pitched screech. The door creeks open and a cane made of bones slams down.

An animated green stench escapes from the shadowy figure standing in the rocket doorway. The Looney Tunes immediately pinch their noses and their eyes are bloodshot. The shadowy figure steps out, exhaling his rancid breath. He reveals himself to the Looney Tunes as Swackhammer, their once formidable foe.

Bugs and the gang stand in terror. Their thoughts of regret race through their minds, as they remember how they have neglected their basketball skills. This time, Swackhammer comes alone. Bugs and the other Looney Tunes wonder why this is.

In the days following the defeat from Michael and the Looney Tunes, Swackhammer's ex-minions were free from their tyrannical leader. Freedom came at a price, however, and they often found themselves starving for food. They would rather have starved to death than go back to their leader, and that's exactly what they did. Later, their bones were discovered and returned to Swackhammer, who subsequently made them into his cane.

Bugs and the gang know this time that they cannot underestimate Swackhammer like they underestimated his minions last time. He certainly could have tricks up his sleeve.

Swackhammer grabs a megaphone and calls out over all of Looney Tune Land. "I've come to take you as slaves to work for me on Moron Mountain," he yells. Bugs Bunny yawns. The other Looney Tunes laugh. "You don't have any new ideas?" Daffy Duck yells, his beak spraying saliva as he speaks. Swackhammer pulls out the basketball that his old minions used to absorb the talents from the old NBA players. "This basketball contains the talents of the five best basketball players in the league today". He then places him palms on the ball and grows to a height unimaginable even by Looney Tunes standards. The Looney Tunes comply and proceed to line up into the rocket. Luckily, Bugs burrowed into the ground, holding the used-up magical basketball. Swackhammer didn't realize that he was gone.

Since the day he lost his ability to walk, LeBron James' mind has slowly deteriorated as well. He feels that he has nothing to live for, but at the same time feels that he has let down everyone. He looks up at his framed Jordan jersey and sobs. He knows now that he'll never be anything compared to him. As much as it pains him to watch, he can't himself to turning on the TV to ESPN to check out how the other NBA players are doing. Montage after montage of players such as Stephen Curry and Kevin Durant falling over and acting clumsy. "This phenomenon is oddly reminiscent of the '95 season, in which Charles Barkley, Patrick Ewing, Larry Johnson and others fell over in their clumsiness," the reporter announces. "What the hell is going on?" LeBron asks himself.

Michael and Bill are hanging out at Michael's mansion shooting hoops and discussing basketball. "I guess you're still the best of all time," Bill Murray teases. "Did you hear about the bug going around? It's affecting all the star players in the NBA." Michael rolls his eyes, "Not the first time. I'll believe just about anything nowadays." All of the sudden, the court begins to shake. Michael and Bill lose their balance, falling to the ground. In an instant, Bugs Bunny explodes from the middle of the court. He had dug his way to Michael's mansion from Looney Tune Land.

Michael jumps from the ground in shock. He hadn't seen Bugs in years, "Bugs Bunny, well aren't you a sight for sore eyes!" Bugs catches his breath and drops the magic basketball to the ground. It rolls to Bill's feet. Bill picks up the ball and asks, "What is it this time?" Bugs is frantic, pacing back and forth. He can't seem to put what just happened into words. Michael stops Bugs, and shakes him into reality. A cartoonish slap finally brings Bugs back to his senses. Bugs quickly informs Michael of all the details. He even describes Swackhammer's rancid breath. "…and it smelled like ass on a hot summer day." Michael was horrified by Bug's description of both Swackhammer's breath and the impending doom of the Looney Tunes. "I think I might, perhaps, possibly have a solution," Michael grins.

Michael, Bugs, and Bill exit Michael's sports car, and look up at LeBron's mansion. They ring the doorbell, and anxiously wait for an answer. A butler answers the door, and leads the group inside. LeBron rolls into the room, and screeches to a halt. He cannot believe his eyes. His personal hero, in the flesh. Michael asks, "Would you like to assist us? We need your skills." LeBron James replies, "Have you not seen the news lately? I'm finished. Paralyzed." "Don't you know anything about basketball? It runs in our blood. We don't have to play the game to have skills. Your skills come from your heart." LeBron really didn't understand what the fuck Michael was talking about, but he figured if the man came all the way to see him, he really needed his help.

Michael takes out the magic ball. "We need your talent. There is only one way we can save the Looney Tunes." Resting their hands on the ball, Michael and LeBron transfer their basketball talent into the magic ball. Bill Murray then takes the ball, and absorbs their talent. They are all set to take on Swackhammer.

Bugs takes everyone underground by burrowing back into the ground, between dimensions into Looney Tune Land. It's a difficult journey, but they all make it, talent intact. To get to Moron Mountain, they take an interstellar rocket created by Marvin the Martian. Once on Moron Mountain, Swackhammer immediately senses their presence. He has his new Looney Tunes minions seize them and bring them to his chambers.

In Swackhammer's chambers, there are Looney Tunes working constantly. Moron Mountain is as efficient and profitable as ever. When Michael, Bill, LeBron, and Bugs are brought into his chambers, Swackhammer begins to cackle. "I never thought I'd see your face again," he taunts Michael. "We have another bet to make," Bill Murray says. "1 on 1 match me vs. you, 21 points" Bill offers, "If I win, we get the looney tunes back. If you win, you get all of us here to work for you". Swackhammer cackles even louder. He can't believe Bill's proposition. "I accept your challenge," he says with a wide grin.

Suddenly, a court rises up out of Moron Mountain, and Swackhammer & Bill Murray find themselves wearing their respective uniforms. "Space Jam" by Quad City DJ's echoes over the loudspeakers. "Everybody get up up up up up up…" Swackhammer towers over Bill. The game is fact paced, getting to 10-10 within 30 seconds. Swackhammer can't believe the game is his evenly matched, so he throws some elbows into Bill behind the ref's back. Bill is down for the count until Bugs revives him with some of Michael's secret stuff. Bill Murray comes back and scores 11 unanswered points to win the game. Swackhammer shrinks to normal size in defeat. Bill Murray has finally proven what it takes to be taken seriously as a basketball player. The Looney Tunes are free.

Bill Murray decides to stay in Looney Tune Land with Bugs and help the Looney Tunes with their basketball fundamentals so they can protect themselves from Swackhammer. Michael and LeBron travel back to Earth and start the beginning of a life-long friendship. "I Believe I Can Fly" by R Kelly is playing in the background.

 **THE END**


End file.
